day fourty eight.

I got to do a photo shoot of an old friend and her little one the other day.  He was so much fun to photograph because he was wayyy a typical boy.  All he wanted to do was play in the mud and ride his bike (which made for some really great shots) but I did get a few sweet ones of him and his mama before he decided to jump in the dirt. Carter’s cheesy smile just kills me every time.  So cute.

 

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day fourty seven

Can’t believe this challenge is almost halfway over! It’s been a long day but hopefully I’ll be back to taking more quality pictures tomorrow or Tuesday! For now though, here’s a photo if the camp we stayed at this weekend..aside from the cold weather it couldn’t have been more beautiful there.

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umm..oops.

Yea.  It’s been almost two months since the blog world has heard anything from me.  Shame, I know.  BUT, my excuses are somewhat valid.
My brother got married, I’ve been visiting my fiance more often and getting involved with his ministry (can’t wait for it to officially be ‘ours’ but it’s been amazing all the same), I had my 21st birthday (and didn’t get wasted like basically every other American.), I’ve been wedding planning, Matt and I put an offer on a beautiful house (still waiting to hear back…), and I’ve been trying to sort out my life and figure out where God wants me to go with this whole “you should probably be thinking about an actual job” thing.

Sadly, out of all of these things, I haven’t been taking pictures, I haven’t been blogging, I haven’t been making cool things out of old furniture…basically haven’t done anything creative since the last time I posted, and to be honest, I’ve just been in a total depression.  I have been in a slump where I’ve been doubting my abilities; there have been numerous times where I have let myself believe that I can’t be a photographer, I can’t be a blogger, I can’t make a living off of these things.  I let myself forget that this is only the beginning…I’m going to fail, and fail miserably.  I’m going to mess up, and I’m going to be totally wrong in how I go about doing things.  I forget that failing doesn’t mean I can’t succeed, it just means I need to change and work harder.

I’m realizing these things because for the first time in my life, I was told by someone my work was not ‘quality.’  I was told I wasn’t good enough.  And people, if you’ve never experienced this, I’m telling you, it can put you into a black hole of bad self-esteem like nothing else.  So I was left with two choices:
I could either quit forever, believing that I’m not good enough and that I should just stick with my cleaning job for the rest of my life,

or

I could start over, knowing I can do better next time by using this horrific criticism as a boost to make myself the best I could possibly be.

 

After a stupid amount of tears, and probably a little too much anger, I chose option one.

 

 

…totally kidding.

 

Guys, I’m not givin’ up.  God has called me to creativity, I am sure of this.  Maybe it’s not photography, but I’m not going to decide that until it is 100% clear to me that I shouldn’t do it.  I cannot let go of this passion just because of a dang criticism.  God does not call us to let go when it gets difficult.  If anything, this is more confirmation that I’m supposed to be doing this.  Nobody gets anything perfect the first time around.   Winston Churchill said “success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”  Whether or not I’m supposed to be a photographer really doesn’t matter if I’m not going to at least try.  And whether I’m supposed to make a living off of pictures and blog posts doesn’t change anything if I just give up.

So, bear with me as I make some changes.  I might not post for another two months.  I might post again in a few hours.  I’m just trying to figure this out, and that starts with making some changes.  I might change my entire blog; I might trash this one and start over.  (Yea, I probably won’t do that.)  I’ll probably update a lot of things, get rid of some things, and change just about everything, including the way I do my photography.  Hopefully these changes will be good…I really think they will be in the end.  But I’m not giving up this passion quite yet.  There are way too many ways to succeed to just give up over my one failure.

 

 

es.

coffee table diy!

This project was actually done towards the beginning of the summer, but really, who has time to blog in the summer…..

…okay bad excuse.  But here I am, posting once again!

I diy-ed a coffee table for my future home with my future hubby!  Of course, now I have to leave the poor thing in storage for 8 more months, but that’s the only price I had to pay….literally!

I can’t take all the credit for this beauty though..my parents actually found it in someone’s garage sale trash (they’re serious experts at finding things on the side of the road..so far we haven’t accumulated any bugs from their little treasures..haha) and brought it home to see if I’d like to remodel it.  As soon as I saw it, I couldn’t say no.  It had fantastic potential.  (I forgot to save the original picture of the table, so you’ll just have to look through all the goop on the top, everything was this cherry color)

So this was the table, as you can see I added some paint stripper on the top.   Here’s some of the details

So I set about putting on all that gunky stuff (paint stripper).

After I scraped it all off, I was left with this really gorgeous faded wood color on top.

After scraping, I flipped the table over and sanded down the legs (please ignore my chipping nail polish..)

Then, I used an espresso brown spray paint to paint the legs.  Oh, the wonders you can create with a good spray paint… :)

Finally, I had my stepdad sand the top to a nice smooth finish. (LOVE the effect the dust makes in this picture.)

And voila.  I now have a pretty sweet lookin coffee table if I do say so myself.  A nice mix of feminine with the beading around the sides and masculine with the raw wood color on top. 

Soon enough, you’ll see a picture of this table in it’s new home in Indianapolis… :)

Hopefully I’ll have time to post again soon!

Has anyone else remade any of their old tables?  I’d like to hear about it!  Leave a comment :)

there’s a first time for everything, i guess.

I’m being a rebel today. Yea that’s right, I’m blogging while I’m at work.

But seriously, I am going out of my mind with boredom…we all know I had no other choice.

I work in the admissions department at my school. I spend three hours a day calling prospective students, doing everything I can to get them to come to our fine establishment. I know that might not sound like the absolute worst thing ever….okay it isn’t the absolute worst thing ever. But there are at least 6 good reasons as to why blogging is a better option than calling the lists upon lists of fabulous future college kids:

 

1. One of my fellow callers, who will remain nameless, chooses to talk on the phone as if every single person on the other end of the line is hard of hearing. This results in my not being able to hear my own voice as I’m trying to leave my 50th voicemail in a row, and I get all flustered and mess up my message. It’s quite embarrassing when you forget what you’re talking about in the middle of leaving a voicemail.  “…was wondering if you’d like to visit our campus….I’m not exactly sure why…who am I talking to again? Right, well, Macy’s is having a sale this week if you’re interested, since I have nothing else to say to you. Have a great day, uhh…Richard…”

Blogging gives me something to do while I wait for my fellow caller to finish their phone call!

 

2. The guy in the office next to me listens to sweet, soothing symphony music. It makes me sleepy. Oh, so sleepy.

Blogging keeps me awake!

 

3. I get yelled at and/or hung up on a lot. People are surprisingly grumpy when you tell them you’re trying to get them to come to your school. Nevermind that I’ve probably already called them 3 times this week, since names tend to get put on our lists more than once. But hanging up on someone? Rude.

Blogging cheers me up! …and let’s me vent just a wee bit.

 

4. Of all hours of the day, the construction guys chose my three calling hours to work on something in the next room. I mean, I’m sure it adds a classy touch in the background of all my phone calls. “Oh that? We’re just ripping apart our office buildings while we talk to you. Let’s you know we’re constantly updating…or something like that…”

Blogging..uhh…let’s me vent a second time!

 

5. It’s hard to be motivated to keep calling people when the lists of names keep getting longer and longer. No lie, I think we’ve got about 8,000 names left. Feels like I’m hardly making a dent in anything.

Blogging makes me feel like I’m being productive!

 

6. I have left over 30 voicemails today, each saying basically the same exact message. It gets boring. Do I need any other explanation?

Blogging is fun! Yay!

 

 

Alright.  I’ve had my fun.  Now that I’ve spent a hefty amount of time complaining about my job, I’m going to turn around and say nice things.  Because, in all seriousness, I have even more reasons to be thankful for my job than to complain about it.  But I’ll just give you 6 so I can feed my slight O.C.D. problem that keeps me from making uneven lists.

 

1.  First and foremost:  I have a job.  I’m making money.  I can support myself.  I’m in college and I can afford things.  That’s called a blessing, if nothing else.  …. It also pays a heck of a lot more than blogging, as of right now…

2. I have an easy job.  I don’t have to think in numbers (besides the ones I’m dialing.. haha….). I don’t have to stress over deadlines.  I can pretty much work whatever hours I want.

3. I get to work with people.  Every other job I’ve had before this one were loner jobs, as in I worked all by myself.  (Filing papers and cleaning office buildings.)  In the admissions department I get to call thousands of students, hang out with them on the occasional campus visit days, and take breaks from calling to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer with my friend Samantha.  Pretty epic.

4. I’ve got one of the better jobs on campus.  I mean, it was this or working in the dining hall when I was applying for jobs here.  I obviously lucked out on this one.

5. I have an amazing boss.  Although he picks on me for no good reason, I know he cares about his workers, and I am extremely thankful for that.  There really aren’t a lot of laid back bosses out there.

**side note: David.  If you ever stumble upon this blog, I apologize for writing it at work.  I promise I’ve been making phone calls in between.  I mean, a girl’s gotta get a break from using the phone every once in a while right??

6. For goodness sakes, I’m blogging while I’m working.  How could I not be thankful for this job??  :)

 

 

Well that’s all folks.  I can’t blog at work all day long…that wouldn’t be right, right?